Patti Novak Introductions
Dating Tips
CONFESSIONS OF A MATCHMAKER
Patti's Dating Tips
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Preparing for the first date:

  • When setting up the first date, spend no more than 5 minutes on the phone.
    You want there to be an air of mystery and have a lot to talk about on the
    actual date.
  • Guys should make the initial call and suggest where to have the date. It shows
    initiative.
  • Early evenings are a great time for dates. Mornings remind too much of work
    and lunch is too informal. Early evenings allows you the opportunity, if you do
    like each other, to have more time together.
  • The best places to meet for a first date are PUBLIC places. Restaurants are
    safe. Do not go to the movies, or secluded, quiet places. Keep it as public as
    possible.
  • Stay away from bars and the club scene. There are too many people and too
    much activity to look at. You may lose focus of your date.
  • Also, stay away from bookstores. That is where you meet, not where you date.
  • A first date should never be a coffee date; it is the direct eye contact that
    make women uncomfortable. Try a nice restaurant or take a walk and have a
    chat.
  • You have 10 seconds to make a first impression, so look your best.
  • When dressing for a first date, dress casual, but nice.
  • Do not wear sneakers or sweats.
  • Less is better when it comes to jewelry, which goes for both men and women.
  • Make sure you carry breath mints.
  • And most importantly, be on time!
Dating etiquette:

  • Do understand table manners. If going out to a restaurant for a first date, learn
    dining etiquette.
  • Do not chew with your mouth open or hold your utensils like a toothbrush.
  • Do not drink too much on a date. It will affect how you look, the way you feel the
    next day, and how you represent yourself.
  • If you are a smoker, do not smoke on your way to the date. You do not want to
    show up smelling like an ashtray. You have no choice today as a smoker but to
    be polite, so maintain that from the beginning of the date until the end.
  • If you are trying to get out of a date, you should plan a phone call before hand
    with a friend or your kids. Tell your date something came up and you have to
    go. If you feel you have to be honest, try not to offend your date, you do not
    want to hurt anybody’s feelings.
Conversation:

  • Once you are on a date, you only have about 30 minutes to build some sort of
    emotional chemistry. Do not waste time having long conversations about your
    children, pets, crazy hobbies and interests, or past relationships- (a definite do
    not.)
  • Make sure conversation is not all about you. Ask questions. Make sure you are
    listening when they are answering. Make sure you ask questions as much as
    you answer them. Remember, the art of communication comes in two forms,
    listening and talking.
  • Stay away from politics and religion. These subjects are too intense for a first
    date. If it comes up during the date, change the subject. Try to keep
    conversation light and fun.
  • Do not talk about your sex life… past, present, or what you would like in the
    future. Leave it in the bedroom where it belongs.
  • Do not use an excessive amount of foul language on a first date, it’s a huge
    turn off.
  • Do not talk about tough family wounds, history, or sadness.
  • Do not talk about medications you are taking. That is your private business
For men:

  • A turn off for women… bragging about career, toys, and especially other
    women.
  • A women likes a man that can be sensitive. Show a bit of your softer side. Be
    attentive on the date; ask questions and listen.
  • Also, be careful not to flirt with the bartenders and waitresses, etc. Being nice
    can sometimes be mistaken for flirting. Women are very sensitive to where
    men’s eyes are.

For women:

  • Show that you can be sexy, intelligent, and beautiful all in the same breath. Do
    not be afraid to show all of those traits. Show your sense of humor, smile, and
    make great eye contact.
  • Most importantly, be yourself. Trying too hard to impress can end up leaving a
    bad impression on your date.